Guardrails in Friendship
We all agree guardrails are a good idea on an icy road through the mountains. What about when it comes to our friendships? God has wired us for friendship. We all desire friendship! The question is, how do we build strong, lasting friendships? We have to understand that friends influence us and have the opportunity to determine the quality and direction of your life. Friends will either bring you down or lift you up.
“He who walks with the wise grows wise; but a companion of fools suffers harm" Proverbs 13:20. Paul also wrote, “be careful how you walk because the days are evil.” Ephesians 5:16. We live in a culture that is addicted to acceptance. We long for it. We crave it and sometimes at any cost emotionally, physically and spiritually. In order to discover true friendship we need to know the difference between a fool and wise person:
A fool is a person who knows the difference between right and wrong but doesn’t care. “Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.” 1 Corinthians 15:33. Your greatest regrets revolve around being with friends. We easily “drop our guard” when we are surrounded with friends. It is much more about who you are with, than what you are doing. Proverbs warns us that a companion of fools suffers harm!
A wise person is someone who knows the difference between right and wrong and chooses to do what is right, even if it is hard.
The people closest to you have access to your heart and your mind.
Real Friends:
- Will encourage you even when you fail.
- Will be under God's authority.
- Know you deeply and love you unconditionally
- Will be a person you can trust to tell you the truth even when it hurts. "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy." Proverbs 27:6
Definition of friendship? A trustworthy person you mutually choose to love and to encourage in order to bring God glory. Instead of waiting for the perfect friend to come along, go and be that friend that you desire to someone else!
How important is friendship? What are the qualities of a true friend?
Guardrails in Dating
A guardrail is a standard of behavior you choose that becomes a conviction. What are the guardrails we put in place for dating? It is interesting to look at how the process of relationships usually begin and grow. First we are simply, “talking to someone.” Secondly, we are “hanging out” which is usually with friends around. Thirdly, they move into a relationship that is "Facebook official!" (Wedding bells anyone?) What we need to realize is that every desire, especially dating requires guardrails or boundaries. Dating is practicing marriage. Our culture entices us to jump off the cliff because it looks fun but then laughs at us when we fall. The average person falls in “love” 5 times between the ages of 13-19 years old. I would even say it is more often than that with most people. Paul wrote to the Corinthian people because they believed that as long as they were spiritual, it didn’t matter what they did with their bodies. This was “convenient” for people who were pagans, many would be with prostitutes because they thought sex was simply physical. Paul writes,
“Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body” 1 Corinthians 6:18-20
Types of “Daters” to avoid:
- “Clinger” – Whatever is done in public is magnified in private. Unhealthy self-esteem on built upon people and not God.
- “Creeper” – Wants to hide behind technology, texting, social networking but remember….they are always watching!
- “Dump truck” – Drops relationships often. They take what they want and them throw you away.
- “Camoflauge” – Change in order to be accepted in each group. They become like the person they like, no matter the cost.
Official Love Waits – official love is meant for a covenant marriage relationship. We should all be committed to showing honor, respect and purity in relationships. Our bodies are the house of God. If you do not have guardrails it will lead to catastrophe off the cliff. God’s plan for sex includes one man and one woman, within the marriage relationship.
Is exclusive dating healthy for those in middle/high school? (By the way, I do not support middle school students dating at all. It always leads to drama and unhealthy relationships because of the students development stage).
Exclusive dating can be harmful for your life. Why does it have to one-on-one all the time? The majority of heartbreak stems from students who do not establish boundaries and isolate themselves from others. They become too close emotionally and then many times it leads to physical boundaries being broken. Not long after this they break up. If you do not have guardrails in dating, you hand the keys to your life to another person to make the big choices in life.
Do you think guardrails are important? What are more ways to set up boundaries?
Baby Robinson Update!
We are grateful for the blessing of a child. It blows my mind to think that God has entrusted us with a child. Here is a little video of our second checkup at the doctor!