Blessed are the peacemakers (part 5)
Look Also to the Interest of Others
Forgiveness opens the door to building a friendship into a stronger bond that would not have been evident if there was not conflict in the beginning. To initiate forgiveness is to admit your own fault and open yourself up to being rejected. Cooperative negotiation is the process that opens up the strengthening of friendship. If each side is agreeable to their own faults, resolution comes to fruition.
Overcome Evil with Good
Overcoming evil is God’s ongoing story and He allows people to play a role in displaying the message of reconciliation to everyone. God revealed to me that through the cross, He defeated evil and provided a path of wholeness not only through salvation but also in daily relationships.
God has convicted me of using words to heal and not to damage relationships. Words are for uplifting and edifying relationships. My prayer is that through this time of my life that I will be sensitive to the Holy Spirit in the way I use words towards my family and friends. Through the investment of my Dad and my mentor, Adam Hammond, I have learned how to be wise in dealing with conflict. It is not a matter of if it will come but when it will become reality.
My prayer is that Christ-followers will apply biblical principles in a real life situations. The work and application of this series is relevant and needed in today’s culture and church. My desire is to take the principles that I have learned and apply them into family ministry. It is important that families learn how to biblically resolve conflict with each other. Love is the basis for any peacemaking endeavor in life. God blesses the intentional peacemaker who puts God’s glory as a priority.
Blessed are the peacemakers (part 4)
Is This Really Worth Fighting For?
What a simple but profound question. Is it really worth becoming angry and vengeful when life does not turn out the way that was planned? Life is filled with ups and downs that require a response. A believer’s response must be to overlook hurts that come in life and respond with a forgiving heart. Jesus set the ultimate example of sacrificial love and forgiveness. It is easy to focus upon any situation with frustration if there are hurt feelings. God has not called us to be ultra sensitive, but to realize that during life there will be pain. It all begins in the heart and results as a humble attitude. At the same time, God has not called us to be weak or defenseless. The key is to make every effort to overlook a transgression of anyone we come in contact with in life.
Examine Yourself
God has not called believers to compare based upon the world’s standards, but upon the Word of God. I realized that only when I am honest about holding a grudge, it squashes a part of my heart to surrender to God. Instead of being calm, the tendency is to allow emotions to overtake judgment. Another aspect of examining my heart has shown that after holding a grudge, I backed away from other close relationships in my life as a defensive mechanism. I used the disagreement as a concession to allowing it to become a hindrance to friendship.
Free Yourself From Sin
The cross is the only way that mankind can be right from their sin problem. Christ went through many sufferings and always responded with grace and power towards his followers and enemies. Action is expected when repentance is present. God not only desires prayer to be specific, but also the restoration of broken relationships.[1] It is important to maintain a clean conscience through resolving conflict.
Gently Restore just between the two of you
When conflict arises, the response many times has been to react in a defensive way. If a person is not handling the conflict in a wise way, the Holy Spirit will convict him of any wrongdoing. If a person is unrepentant or unwilling to admit their sin, it is wise to bring along one or two people who are wise in dealing with conflict. The principle comes out of Matthew 18 and if more people applied it to their personal lives, there would be less divorce and broken relationships. The danger of bringing others into a conflict can make it harder to resolve due to differing views on the solution.
Go and Be Reconciled
God has shown the greatest act of reconciliation by paying the price for salvation through his death, burial and resurrection from the dead. Christ calls believers to be reconciled to one another at all costs and to not allow any hurtful attitude to spread among friendships. God set an example through the cross that we must follow. One of the best quotes in the book was, “Because Christians are the most forgiven people in the world, we should be the most forgiving people in the world.”[1] Much is expected of believers who have been forgiven completely. The practical application of this principle is to always seek out the conflict in a way that is not passive, but reveals a heart that seeks after truth and forgiveness. Forgiveness does not include excuses or forgetting, but it is a continual choice to release the person into God’s hands.
[1] The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict, 161.
[1] “If a man cleanses himself from sin, he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work.” 1 Timothy 2:21
Blessed are the peacemakers (part 3)
Paul wrote to the Roman church that one of the main goals of believers is to display a lifestyle of peace.[1] God’s character is one of peace and meekness. In order for me to handle the conflict, one must first talk to God and asked for forgiveness and grace to handle it. Instead of “getting even” or “doing what makes me happy” it must change to focusing upon honoring God’s declaration of peace.
It is important to note that when handling the beginning of conflict resolution, it needs to be light and headed into a clear discussion. God has been working on my heart on having a clear conscience. I have found that through this process it has brought me more peace in my heart. My hero in life is my Dad who exemplified and taught me that a wise man does not hold grudges against people who have hurt him.[2] Through growing up in a ministry household I learned firsthand that peacemaking is a vital tool for every person to live out.
Peace is connected with trust. Without faith in God, true and lasting peace will not become a reality. During conflict I have learned that God is in control even when I do not feel like it. Instead of looking at situations as happening by chance, I have learned that God has allowed it to open my eyes to my need for humility.
During conflict it is easy to allow feelings and hurt to dictate how we respond versus trusting God. My goal is to continue to look at my past relationships, current relationships, and future relationships with faith that God knows and has plans to mend broken hearts. My prayer is to trust God no matter the cost and to rely on the Holy Spirit for guidance in order to respond with His heart and wisdom.
[1] “It is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone (Romans 12:18).
[2] “A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.” Proverbs 19:11