Relationships > Programs

#6: Relationships > Programs. When I began student ministry I had ideas but many times they were just that, ideas! In any ministry context there are certain aspects that require programming. Setting up a scheduled time to worship, train leaders and have events. What I learned is that people hunger for relationship. More importantly, a relationship with Jesus Christ. My understanding of student ministry was to make sure all of my plans, schedule and program was spotless. My mentality was based on what I perceived from other ministries, conferences, books and blogs. What I easily missed was building relationships with the students. I missed the very people because I was busy establishing a "program." As a leader in ministry, our desire should be to meet people at their point of need with the love of Christ. Programs are simply a facilitator to gospel-centered relationships. The program is simply a tool. The only way to make a lasting impact on a person is to build a relationship that is based on how Jesus build relationships. He built relationships with those who the culture deemed "invisible." Jesus applied grace to those who followed Him because He knew who they would become was more important than their current identity. I don't remember Jesus counting the disciples? Jesus was invested in the relationship more than their performance. 

I have missed this principle many times. I remember trying to apply the same approach to each student expecting the same results. The key is building a relationship that builds a bridge to their soul. Everyone is different but they all have the same needs: Salvation, love, acceptance, belonging, grace, encouragement, hope and trust (to name a few).

Know what is happening in their lives. In order to lead people, we must get to know each person's personality and background. What might work for one student, might not work for another due to their expectations. I have come back to this same principle now over seven years later. Why do some students lose their passion? What do we do when students lose heart because of unwise decisions that keep them captive?

Relationship matters more than church attendance and their performance. I have missed this principle many times in ministry. We have high standards for our students because we love them. What we have to realize is that our love for them must be filled with grace. Challenge them, but not always. Pray for them.

If our "programs" have good numbers but the students are not growing in their relationships have we missed it? The same applies in other areas of the church:

• If the gospel is only shared during the sermon, the church is missing the point of evangelism.
• If the Bible is only read in the sermon or small groups, the church has missed the point of spiritual growth.
• If the only time we pray is at dinner, we have missed the point of relationship with God.

God is not impressed with our slick programs, funny videos and current worship songs. God wants us to be a bridge in order to extend His redemption story into their lives. I pray our relationship with God will overflow into the hearts of those we serve. Let it be more about the relationship with others than the performance of a program.

Is it more about the program or relationship? What are your thoughts? 

Expectation Management

#5: be clear about expectations. We all have expectations. We expect our food to be prepared at a fast food restaurant to be...fast. We have expectations about other people, whether they know it or not. Most of our expectations come from our upbringing, circumstances and memories. People who have been hurt in the past will have certain expectations towards those in the future. The same is true for those who have had everything on a "silver plate." Expectations come with every human being. The key is communicating, understanding and responding to expectations! Ask every married person and they will tell you that they entered their marriage with expectations. Usually people do not even realize their expectations until they are uncovered through being stretched in the relationship. In the same way, when I first entered ministry, I had expectations. Some expectations I knew I had and others were uncovered. What many of those in ministry face right out of Bible college or seminary is the lack of understanding of church ministry.

For example, One young guy wants a church to start his ministry. He has high expectations of a mentoring relationship with his new boss and staff. What he doesn't realize is there are unclear expectations of his job. He just wants to love God and love students. He takes the job without asking questions about philosophy of ministry, financials, expectations of church and their directions. But what he quickly realizes is that the church runs more like a business than a ministry (nothing like summer camp!). He becomes overcome with the stress of measuring up to everyone. He loses interest over time in taking time with each student because he needs to make sure everyone is counted. He begins to look back and wonder where his passion left that he had back when he was a camp counselor? So he is left wondering why it is not at all what he expected?

Expect pastors and staff to be human. In other words, they are not perfect! I know this is not a life changing statement, but many forget this in ministry. They will let you down, upset you and make decisions you do not agree with. Most struggles in ministry arise out of expecting other people to be a certain way we design in our minds. Grace must fit into our relationship with those we work and serve alongside. Why? Because I hope they will return the favor to me because I will always need it when I make mistakes.

Expect grace to be enough. People will hurt you. It is simple as that. Some will stick with you and support you and others will not. We have two choices. We make our career about "our" ministry or about the ministry of the gospel. Apply grace liberally. Peace comes when we decide that we are living for an audience of one. Life is too short to try to make everyone happy. But if we are striving after Christ, we will honor and encourage those we minister too.

Expect God to provide. Financial needs arise, especially for those of us in youth ministry. Long hours with unclear expectations from multiple parents can consume us. The pain of seeing people reject the gospel or make harmful decisions to themselves can be overwhelming. What many do not understand is that with the stress of ministry, usually the financial stress at home only compounds the pressure. Is it easy? Not always. But every time I have had need, God has provided.

Expect that God is never done with you. God will finish the work He wants us to finish. Keep your eyes focused upon what is most important. Make disciples!

"...That he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

What expectations did you have when you entered ministry? How do you manage those expectations? 

Planning in Ministry

#4: planning matters. In student ministry, organization and planning is a key component to running healthy ministry. The tendency I had when I began in ministry is to love students and love God and thought that was all there was to it! I quickly realized that there is a lot more work involved in student ministry. One of those components is how to effectively plan the overall vision. Most ministers are able to come up with a vision or purpose statement for their ministry but sometimes cannot link it with their plans. The "how" is sometimes the most difficult question in fulfilling the vision. One missing link in student ministry today is the lack to finish what we start.   Planning is the process of seeking God’s Will and acting on it. 

Here are a few tips to help fulfill the "why" with "how":

Personal Plans:

• What day are you saving for a date with your spouse? What time is protected to be with your family?
• What days are you exercising? If we do not plan to, we probably will forget to be healthy.
• When are you taking a vacation with your family? If we do not plan to rest, we can easily become burned out and exhausted.

Ministry Plans:

Plan weekly:

• Schedule your days to be purposeful during the week to get into a routine. I use Evernote to write down my set reminders to complete each week to stay on track. It needs to be flexible because of ministry demands. If we do not plan our time, someone will plan it for us! I let my secretary know so that during certain parts of the week I will write my messages and finish small group material.
• Plan your communication: When do you communicate with parents, students and volunteers? It is important to have set times that you communicate with everyone (text, Facebook, email, twitter, snail mail).

Plan each quarter (January-May, June-July, August-December):

• Message series: I start with the big idea or an exegetical study of a passage to plan a series. For me, I plan at least 3 months out so I can plan out all of the creative elements (media) and small group material. It all begins with asking the question, "where are my students at spiritually?"
• Parent Meetings: We have a vision night for parents at the beginning of each school year (January, August). It is a way to lay out the plans in a way that encourages parents to know where the ministry is heading. Every month we send out the "ParentLink" newsletter. It is a good resource with parenting tips, calendar and letter to parents.
• Leadership development: Plan the training events to help equip leaders. We have training meetings at least twice per quarter on specific questions, topics and needs for the group.

Plan yearly: 

• Big events: Missions trip, summer camp, retreats, D-NOWS and more. It is good to lay out the year in advance the main events that support the vision. Planning a year in advance will help streamline the events to be on purpose.

 Planning helps people have the space to catch the vision and jump on board! 

What are your thoughts on planning and its importance in ministry?