Guardrails in Dating
A guardrail is a standard of behavior you choose that becomes a conviction. What are the guardrails we put in place for dating? It is interesting to look at how the process of relationships usually begin and grow. First we are simply, “talking to someone.” Secondly, we are “hanging out” which is usually with friends around. Thirdly, they move into a relationship that is "Facebook official!" (Wedding bells anyone?) What we need to realize is that every desire, especially dating requires guardrails or boundaries. Dating is practicing marriage. Our culture entices us to jump off the cliff because it looks fun but then laughs at us when we fall. The average person falls in “love” 5 times between the ages of 13-19 years old. I would even say it is more often than that with most people. Paul wrote to the Corinthian people because they believed that as long as they were spiritual, it didn’t matter what they did with their bodies. This was “convenient” for people who were pagans, many would be with prostitutes because they thought sex was simply physical. Paul writes,
“Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body” 1 Corinthians 6:18-20
Types of “Daters” to avoid:
- “Clinger” – Whatever is done in public is magnified in private. Unhealthy self-esteem on built upon people and not God.
- “Creeper” – Wants to hide behind technology, texting, social networking but remember….they are always watching!
- “Dump truck” – Drops relationships often. They take what they want and them throw you away.
- “Camoflauge” – Change in order to be accepted in each group. They become like the person they like, no matter the cost.
Official Love Waits – official love is meant for a covenant marriage relationship. We should all be committed to showing honor, respect and purity in relationships. Our bodies are the house of God. If you do not have guardrails it will lead to catastrophe off the cliff. God’s plan for sex includes one man and one woman, within the marriage relationship.
Is exclusive dating healthy for those in middle/high school? (By the way, I do not support middle school students dating at all. It always leads to drama and unhealthy relationships because of the students development stage).
Exclusive dating can be harmful for your life. Why does it have to one-on-one all the time? The majority of heartbreak stems from students who do not establish boundaries and isolate themselves from others. They become too close emotionally and then many times it leads to physical boundaries being broken. Not long after this they break up. If you do not have guardrails in dating, you hand the keys to your life to another person to make the big choices in life.
Do you think guardrails are important? What are more ways to set up boundaries?
I Love My Wife
Happy Valentine's Day! Four years ago I asked my wife to marry me and the crazy part is that she said "yes!" God's grace is real because of the amazing gift of my wife, Cassidy.
The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the LORD. Proverbs 18:22
1) She is an awesome wife - Cassidy grows more beautiful inside and out the longer we are married. She is the greatest partner and companion to me. She balances me in my weaknesses and spurs me to become more like Jesus in our marriage and life.
2) She is patient - For those that know me, this is a big one! Her patience with me and others reveals her heart to show the love of Christ.
3) She is kind - I'm grateful for the kindness she pours out on those who need encouragement. Her kindness is attractive to those who need the love of God.
4) She has my back - I'm thankful for her commitment to me and support. She breathes life into me, especially when I am struggling.
5) She is peaceful - I'm grateful for a wife that does not live off of drama but seeks peace and forgiveness.
6) She is grateful - Cassidy is grateful for even the little things. She makes the most of every situation (ex:financial, circumstances)
7) She is a committed friend - She is my best friend. She knows me inside and out and unconditionally loves me. She is a great friend to others and has compassion on others.
8) She will be a fantastic mom - Cassidy is great with children. Her loving heart will be a blessing to our children.
9) She is faithful to God - Cassidy is focused upon bringing God glory in life. She is committed to using her gifts to see Him glorified. Her music is glorifying to God and is a ministry of the gospel. Her faithfulness will matter in eternity!
10) She is forgiving - Cassidy does not hold grudges very long. She is quick to forgive and love people. She wants peace, joy and love in all areas of life. I'm grateful that she extends forgiveness to me.
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." Proverbs 31:30
This is only 10 of the thousands of reasons I love my wife!
What are you grateful for in your marriage relationship?