Heart Check-up
If you have been to the doctor for a heart check-up, you know that you want to know exactly the condition of your heart. In the Bible the word heart is mentioned 963 times! We protect a lot of areas of our lives (money, appearance, popularity, cell phones) but often we do not guard our hearts!
“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life." Proverbs 4:23“Guard” or “Keep” is translated preserve, observe, watchers, or watchmen. The Hebrew word "natsar" is a command calling for continual watching.
The heart is the inner core of a person. The heart refers to the “mind, will and emotions.”
God examines our heart, not our outward appearance, “The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” 1 Samuel 16:7. In our culture, we often hear people say, "follow your heart!" We need to understand that our hearts reveal we are lost! “The heart is more deceitful than all else And is desperately sick; Who can understand it?” Jeremiah 17:9.
Jesus said:
“If you hate your brother, you are a murderer at heart…” Matthew 5:22 and “Look with lust, you commit adultery in your heart…” Matthew 5:28 “But the words you speak come from the heart—that’s what defiles you. For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all sexual immorality, theft, lying, and slander.” Matthew 15:18-19
In order to guard our heart, we need to know the condition of your heart. How do we guard our heart?
- Mind: What you think becomes what you believe.
Satan is a terrorist. He wants to poison our minds from the truth of God’s Word. If our mind is dwelling on the opposite of what God's Word says, we will be fixed upon poison (Proverbs 23:7, 27:19). Our mind is the foundation for what we focus upon and live. "Give careful thoughts to the paths of your feet and be steadfast in all your ways.” Proverbs 4:26
- Will: The attitude and response to life flows out of your heart.
Our arteries can harden and we can have a heart attack physically. Spiritually we can allow the trash of the world to invade our mind, will and emotions and lead to a hardened, flat-lined heart. A religious hypocrite is one who can perform outwardly but does not know Jesus internally. A follower of Christ has a closer, abiding relationship with Jesus.
- Emotions: Are my feelings in line with what Jesus says?
Proverbs 28:26, “He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, but he who walks wisely will be delivered.” We have to discover what Jesus says about us and make sure our feelings are subject to His truth. God is jealous for our heart’s affection. He does not need it but desires it! Our heart finds purpose through a growing relationship with God.
“And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13 “
If God performed open heart surgery on you, what would we find? Do you have a relationship with Jesus or just religious ritual? Are you guarding your heart emotionally and spiritually?
Approach Students with Authenticity
#7 Approach with authenticity. We all have misconceptions of people, especially students. I missed this a lot when I began in ministry because I had a false understanding of how to respond to people. What about when it comes to parenting? I think that in today's culture parents are more afraid of their students than ever before. Why do I say this? Because sometimes the negative way students respond to authority. We are afraid they will get "mad." So what do we do? Not challenge them and just teach "fluffy" messages. I say no. Let's discuss some misconceptions of how youth leaders and parents might approach students.
Common approaches to students: The apathetic student: Many respond with, "they are too spoiled rotten!" - Yes, it is true. Many have way more than they should and never learn how to earn things through hard work. But many times we think that is all there is to it. Most parents who pour absorbent amounts of money into the children do it out of guilt or making up for what they lacked as a child. A close, intimate relationship with them will matter more than their material possessions.
The unchurched student - Lost parents respond with, "since they enjoy church, they must be only playing games" - One of my all-time most frustrating parenting decisions is grounding a student from church. Why would you keep your student away from hearing God's Word and being invested in by adult leaders? Some feel that isolating their child is the answer. Others feel that their student never dones anything wrong. These two extreme examples teach a student to go through life blaming others for their own mistakes. Why not teach them to give love, give forgiveness and give encouragement to others.
The popular student: Their family responds with, "We are just too busy." - We have put sports, activities and performance above being faithful to church and growing spiritually in a small group. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard the excuse of "too much homework" to trump the commitment to Bible study. We are possibly raising up spiritually dead but socially accepted students. Do we care more about their relationship with God or impressing a college scout, professor or job opportunity?
The "Not my baby" parent: They fear their children more than God. The response is, "My children will reject God if we are too committed" - We are more concerned with their grades, future scholarships and outward accolades than God's calling and their spiritual growth. Many times we are wanting to be their "best friend" and not their parent or youth leader. Are we are afraid of rejection from our students at times? I think so. I don't like rejection and I'm sure you do not either!
What are some healthy, biblical responses to students?
Be authentic: Usually what students reveal at church, camp or an activity is simply a mirror of what they are taught in the home. If you make a mistake, own up to it and ask forgiveness. Set the example of being humble and authentic especially in the home and when you lead students. We need less focus upon the outward and more focus upon the inward. They hunger for authenticity. Although they rarely express gratitude, they do appreciate you being there for them as parents.
Biblical worldview: One of the greatest ways to approach students is through a biblical worldview. It is taking the time to process their choices through the lens of scripture. Only then will we understand God's story. The entire story of God's Word is outlined in God's creation, the fall, the cross, and redemption. In order to respond correctly our hearts need to be in line with God's story of redemption.
Be passionate. Maybe we should steer them towards the gospel story. Remove the spiritual checklist and replace it with love that flows out of a relationship with God. Even when they push you away, never back down from the truth of obedience to Christ. Overall, we should care about their soul than their immediate happiness.
What misconceptions have you had in responding to students? In the home? In the ministry?
Guardrails in Friendship
We all agree guardrails are a good idea on an icy road through the mountains. What about when it comes to our friendships? God has wired us for friendship. We all desire friendship! The question is, how do we build strong, lasting friendships? We have to understand that friends influence us and have the opportunity to determine the quality and direction of your life. Friends will either bring you down or lift you up.
“He who walks with the wise grows wise; but a companion of fools suffers harm" Proverbs 13:20. Paul also wrote, “be careful how you walk because the days are evil.” Ephesians 5:16. We live in a culture that is addicted to acceptance. We long for it. We crave it and sometimes at any cost emotionally, physically and spiritually. In order to discover true friendship we need to know the difference between a fool and wise person:
A fool is a person who knows the difference between right and wrong but doesn’t care. “Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.” 1 Corinthians 15:33. Your greatest regrets revolve around being with friends. We easily “drop our guard” when we are surrounded with friends. It is much more about who you are with, than what you are doing. Proverbs warns us that a companion of fools suffers harm!
A wise person is someone who knows the difference between right and wrong and chooses to do what is right, even if it is hard.
The people closest to you have access to your heart and your mind.
Real Friends:
- Will encourage you even when you fail.
- Will be under God's authority.
- Know you deeply and love you unconditionally
- Will be a person you can trust to tell you the truth even when it hurts. "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy." Proverbs 27:6
Definition of friendship? A trustworthy person you mutually choose to love and to encourage in order to bring God glory. Instead of waiting for the perfect friend to come along, go and be that friend that you desire to someone else!
How important is friendship? What are the qualities of a true friend?